I'm Usually Not So Ambitious... (August 9th)

...but I guess I must have had a really good night sleep. Since Brandon's brother Adrian, his wife Natalie and their son Taylor have been out visiting Utah for the past month, we thought it would be nice to invite them over for Sunday dinner before they had to leave for Buffalo again. It seems like every get-together we have with my in-laws includes the entire family, which is great, but we really enjoy having one on one time (or two on two) as well.

I was impressed by the presentation of our meal that I just had to take a picture:

I was a little less impressed with the taste of the meal though. Our menu was as follows:

Gyoza (Japanese-style potstickers) - these kinda fell apart as we cooked them...

Miso Soup with Tofu, Scallions, Enoki Mushrooms, and Wakame Seaweed

Chinese Broccoli with Garlic and Ginger

Beef & Shiitake Mushroom Stir-fry with Rice - this was the biggest disappointment and it had way too many onions!

Green Salad (with cucumbers from our garden!)

The stir-fry was a first time attempt at a new recipe and I wish that I stuck with something a little more tried and true. And although we had done the Chinese broccoli before, I'm thinking that it might be out of season now because it tasted bitter. But the miso soup, salad, and rice were great (although those are no brainers for me). The gyoza tasted good but was lacking in the presentation department. So I guess overall, it all balanced each other out.

Here, Brandon & Adrian are geeking out to Fat Princess, a new videogame that Brandon just purchased for his PS3. Taylor doesn't seem quite as engaged...

Taylor drinking from the big boy cup with mom, Natalie. Adrian in the background with some fierce concentration on fattening up the princess...


Taylor giving Lucy some loves with the help of mom. He'll be a great older brother someday...


The cousins enjoying some lap time on Natalie.

Taylor is a very energetic toddler and just reminded me and Brandon of how much baby proofing we are going to need to do to our house. But for now, we'll just enjoy Lucy's immobility while we can. I am having a hard enough time trying to change her diaper with all the squirming she does - I can't even imagine when she starts crawling - then walking!

Craft Lake City (August 8th)

So I am so glad that my friend, Candace, told me about this event cause it was so awesome. Craft Lake City was limited to 80 vendors who had to submit their work before-hand and were chosen by the sponsors so there was a really great variety of work there. Salt Lake has become quite the hipster place (similar, I've heard to Austin, TX) so there was a lot of really whimsical stuff there - owls, octupuses (how do you make that plural), birds, great fabrics and textiles, and a surprising amount of really cool felt crafts like stuffed animals and finger puppets. Along with that, there were great prints and paintings, hand-made jewelry, fabulous card sets, and clothes. I spent way more money than I planned on but it's always nice to have something original, independently made, and local. Since my husband is a local artist, it kinda feels like I'm paying it forward and supporting that whole industry. After Brandon saw the success of this event, he is thinking of submitting his work to be a vendor next year.

Here is Brandon and our little girl in the Baby Bjorn. She is still in her pajamas because she was mid-nap when we left our home for a family lunch and we didn't want to unnecessarily wake her to get dressed. And I was also thinking ahead since I knew we would be outside, it was chillier that day than normal, and I wanted something that had a little bit more full coverage from the sun. But thank goodness that I always keep an extra set of clothes in her diaper bag because she of course, had a blowout (always when we aren't home it seems). And thank goodness Elaine sent me Maya's old hat cause I'm afraid that Lucy's head would be burned without it considering how much we are outside.

Here are our good friends, Candace and Jared - they are one of our favorite couples we know. Jared is also a local artist and teaches sculpture up at the University of Utah. He didn't have a booth at this event either but you can check out his work here. Candace worked with me at Salt Lake County Aging Services and even though I don't work there anymore, I'm glad that we still have been able to hang out. She's constantly trying to convince me to buy a house on her street so we can be neighbors and Brandon and I are quite tempted...

We thought we needed a girls picture...this was after the blowout - Candace found me right as we were changing Lucy and she just got a kick out of the mess. But Lucy is all clean here and flashing her tummy a bit.

This is another cool couple we know who both work at EA with Brandon - Xavi and Shelly. Shelly had a booth at the event and Xavi was helping her out like a good husband should. Xavi is from Spain and plays soccer with Brandon (and thank goodness he does because he scores the majority of the team's goals). You can check out both of their work here and here. I purchased one of Shelly's octupus shirts (that she is wearing) but in brown. You can see me wearing it below:

And here are the rest of the goods we got:

All the rest is for Lucy although I was pretty tempted to make some purchases for myself. This cute print is by Candace Jean/The Westfold Press and you can see her work here. I love the racoon and lobster - she had another print with the same characters I was so tempted to get. Maybe next time... I'm excited to get Lucy's room all decorated with these things.

One of the many owl things they had at the fair that is also made out of felt. This was done by Isabell's Umbrella and you can see her work here. She had some fabulous card sets and other prints with Japaneses kokeshi dolls and also gnome stuff.

More felt. Brandon made me get this finger puppet because I was just telling him how much I loved David the Gnome when I was a kid when it used to play on Nickleodeon and he made fun of me because the lip synching was never accurate on it. He even made me watch an episode on YouTube to prove it to me but I still didn't care - after all these years, when I watched it, it brought back all these memories and I love it more than ever. I totally want to get the DVD for Lucy to watch. But anyway, back to the main subject, this was purchased from Caitlin Bell/Nifty Kidstuff and you can see her work here. We also bought the crown below from her:

Although there were really cute girly crowns, I specifically buy these things gender neutral in case we give Lucy a baby brother in the future (No - we have no special announcements to make!) but that is just the type of person I am - ridiculously rational and pragmatic. But whether the crown was pink or yellow, it is still adorable on her although a little big but she will grow into it and it is adjustable as she grows older.

Here are some of the other vendors that I loved but just couldn't afford at the moment. Maybe I will buy some of their stuff later on or leave helpful hints for Brandon on my birthday and Christmas. I also wanted to buy stuff for my cute nieces and nephew, but again, I don't have a money tree in my backyard, so it will have to wait. A lot of these things, I swear I feel like I could make myself but then I realize that I would never be creative enough to think of these ideas and even if I did, there is definitely an opportunity cost to buying the materials (and some of the fabric was just gorgeous) and then actually getting it done.

Winborg Sisters' Design - These were the most beautiful children's paintings but they were a bit out of my budget. But I so love original art like this. Her friends are lucky if they receive these paintings for baby shower gifts. I'd love to get some of these for Lucy's room in the future (once I get that money tree going...).

Sorry Clementine by Suzanne Clements - She had the cutest owl and octupus shirt for only $15 each but I ran out of money. I tempted to buy them from her on-line. Maybe for my birthday....

Card Sharks - Even though there were a ton of card sets being sold, these were among the best and were just very clever. My favorites are their animal alphabet, reindeer, frosty, santa, and little beasties. But in my pragmatism, I realized that I don't write too many letters or send cards to many people. Maybe buying these would be an excuse to start...

Sycamore Street Press - This had some great alphabet and number prints that were reasonably priced - I think I would like to order some of these for Lucy's room.

Cavalcade - This person made these beautiful cake stands but before I even saw her stuff at the fair, a girl from my church showed me how to make this craft and we are planning on doing it for a church craft class. But she also had adorable hair thingies (which I never wear so could not justify buying) - kinda reminded me of SJP in Sex & the City movie.

Julie Stutznegger - She had some beautiful kiln fired glass that I thought we be nice adult decoration in our living room or bedroom. I don't think the pictures on-line do her work justice - you really have to see it in person.

Vintage Fern

Frosty Darling

Mother-in-Law Visit, Part II (August 6th-9th)

So Brandon's mom actually came back into town after a short visit to California where she visited her other son, Cameron, and his three kids. I wanted to make up for her previous stay by being normal this time and not such a basketcase. So I found the motivation beforehand to plan out a ton of stuff for us to do so we could spend time together but also get things done. It was a whirlwind but it was surprisingly energizing and I was able to get so much accomplished which otherwise would have been much more difficult to do alone or may not have been done at all.

We started off going here:
so we could purchase some wedding gifts for one of Brandon's cousins who was getting married the next week. I love buying my wedding gifts from Bed, Bath, & Beyond because I always get those 20% off coupons in the mail and I am addicted to using coupons. And I also love that they have free gift wrapping there which makes them so much better than Target (as well as a much better return policy). I wish that I had registered here for my wedding, but oh, well.

After the first shopping excursion, Lucy was getting hungry so we figured that it would be perfect time to get pedicures since I would be able to nurse her while we sat. Susan had a high school reunion to go to the next night and Lake Powell had done a number on her nails so it worked out perfectly. Right across from BB&B, we found a new salon called Groovy Nails and got some great pedicures (Susan also got a manicure but I figured that holding a baby would just mess one up for me). I was a little bit worried about the strong, chemical smells in the salon for Lucy but hopefully, she had some brain cells to spare. I figure its okay if it is only once or twice a year...

Straight from pedicures, we had perfect timing to make it to lunch with a family friend, Jenny West here:at Cafe Trio in Cottonwood. I don't even remember what I ordered but it was delicious. Cafe Trio is one of my favorite restaurants in Utah.

From there, we headed here:
for some additional shopping. We picked up some baby gifts for a family friend who just had twins and who we were bringing dinner to that night. But before we could do that, Susan had to go to a WOW meeting. She is the president of this NGO, the Worldwide Organization for Women which has UN status (she gets to go to the United Nations in New York - exciting, huh!). While she was there, I headed here for some grocery shopping:

Then we headed to Adam and Lindsey's house (the ones with new twins) and brought a dinner of sweet sausage and pepper sandwiches, corn on the cob, green salad, cut watermelon, and caprese salad. We got to meet 3-month old Summer and Zoe who were born 10 weeks premature. So even though they are only a month younger than Lucy, they were so much smaller. I think their adjusted age only put them at 4 weeks. I was just amazed at the poise and stamina of Lindsey - I don't think I could have gone through the challenges that she has with as much grace and strength. We made it an early night so the family could get some rest but the next day was just as busy as the first.

We were going to try to get pictures of Lucy at JC Penny originally on this day, but the appointments were filled up so we started the day off with a family lunch at Thai Spice in Fort Union which was so good! We took some time to digest and visit at Damian's house before splitting up for errands. Brandon and I headed off to the Asian store, then Craft Lake City (for which a separate entry devoted entirely to that will be posted later). While Brandon's mom went to her 40th(?) high school reunion, we were supposed to host Brandon's brother, Adrian and his wife, Natalie and son Taylor, for dinner but thankfully (for our sakes since we were so tired) they requested we push it back a day to Sunday because Taylor wasn't feeling well that night. So we had a quiet Saturday evening in and then brought Brandon's mom to the airport on Sunday morning. It doesn't seem like a ton of stuff now that I look back on it, but getting anything done in between naps and feedings with a baby is an accomplishment in and of itself. It's just hard being social when you have a child so it takes that much more effort to try to plan things out. Family visiting helps to give you a little bit more motivation, so thanks family!

A Visitor from Japan (August 1st & 4th)

It's not very often that we have family visiting from Japan but we were lucky enough to have my cousin Megumi, and her three adorable kids, Mia, Millie, and Toki out in Utah. We didn't get to host them as she was staying with her in-laws (which was probably much more convenient for her since her sister-in-laws were also out visiting with their kids and everyone in that household speak Japanese). Megumi's English is excellent though, so it is easy to hang out with her.

Emily, Brandon and I were able to take the relatively short drive up to Farmington to visit the Nunokawa household where Megumi was staying with the kids. She had actually been in Utah since the middle of July and her husband, Hiro, had joined her then but had since returned to Japan. We missed him and due to all of our travel back east and to Lake Powell and Wyoming, we weren't able to hang out until a couple of weeks into her stay.Here is a family picture of Megumi's family in front of the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. We weren't there with them for the open house because we were out of town, but I'm glad that they got to visit here on their stay.

The Nunokawa family is very similar to the Taura family (which is my aunt's family that Megumi is part of) in that there are seven kids (which is large by American standards but enormous for Japan) and incredibly open, kind, fun, and hospitable. We were served an excellent dinner, with many vegetables straight from the Nunokawa garden (the Japanese cucumbers were amazing!). Of course, although I always have my camera in my purse, I didn't bother to take any pictures but Megumi's sister-in-law, Keiko, took one with her much fancier camera so here it is:

There were kids all over the place and they were giving Lucy so much attention. I still wanted to spend more time with Megumi and the kids and since I'm not working, I invited her, the kids and their cousins over to my house for swimming. With my culinary expertise, I whipped up a menu consisting of frozen pizza, fruit (cut watermelon, strawberries, and blueberries), leftover pasta salad from dinner the night before, and ice cream sandwiches & popsicles for dessert. The kids seemed to have a blast swimming and Megumi and I had a nice chance to chat and catch up and then we followed lunch with a Japanese anime film, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.

I don't remember the above picture being taken but I guess it was taken right before everyone left my house because that is my couch that the kids are sitting on. Wish I had taken pictures of all the adorable kids but we'll just have to remember next week when we are in Japan. Thanks for visiting, Megumi!

Relief Society Temple Night and Red Mango (Aug. 5th)

Sometimes, you just need to get out with the girls for some frozen yogurt.

After the temple here in South Jordan...
...we headed to a new frozen yogurt place, Red Mango. One of the girls who had recently moved from California said that it was a knock-off of Pink Strawberry (or some name like that - I can't remember). Even if it is a knock-off, it was still pretty good. And it is supposedly 100% natural and healthy with probiotics and such. There were only three flavors of frozen yogurt and even though I wanted the pomengranate one, that machine wasn't working so I chose to get the original with some fresh fruit toppings. I was stoked not only because I had an excuse to go out for a frozen treat (since it was part of a church activity) but because I also had a coupon in the mail and I love saving money on delicious treats. Here is my masterful creation with kiwis, raspberries, and mangoes that I had to take a picture of before I dug in:

We got there at exactly the right time because immediately after we ordered, a bunch more people came in and the line was practically out the door. Here are the rest of the girls from that night:

Megan and Krachel - Megan is obviously really enjoying her yogurt. I should have bought hers for her since she watched Lucy for me when I was at my dentist appointment. I'll have to remember next time...Krachel and I carpooled together on the way since we live down the street from each other but she ditched me on the way home to chat with Jackie (which I forgive because it was my idea since I didn't want to wait around for their conversation to end). But Krachel is rad and she has an awesome job at Make a Wish Foundation. You can read about all the kids she helps here on their Make a Wish blog.

My flash was obviously having some problems in this one but that is Ursula and Brooklyn. Brooklyn is the one who just moved from California.


Here is Masha who was 15? weeks pregnant at this time but you can barely tell at all. And again, Megan really savoring her yogurt in the background.


And last but not least, is me and Jackie. Jackie and I are on the Enrichment Committee together so we get to plan a lot of these fun activities (although she is the one that comes up with ideas and does most of the heavy lifting). Jackie also has a fabulous fashion sense and I love her pointy red shoes in this picture. I have on my favorite red peep toe pumps but they are cut out. I know we probably aren't the same size shoe but maybe we could trade clothes...

When I got home, Brandon informed me that Lucy woke up from her nap and cried for an hour, not taking the bottle from him, before eventually crying herself to sleep. But he said it was worth it for me to have a night out. Maybe we'll have to go straight to a sippy cup - cause Mommy needs some more nights like these every once in a while...

Mother-in-Law Visit, Part I (July 27th-30th)

Some daughter-in-laws don't always look forward to their mother-in-law visiting, especially when they have a new baby. But I definitely was. Before Susan came out, I sent her an e-mail telling her how excited I was to have her stay with us because then she could hold and play with her new granddaughter (and I wouldn't have to feel guilty or worry that Lucy wasn't getting enough attention) and then I would be able to get lots of cleaning done around my house and errands done around town and have someone to keep me company. Maybe even sneak out on a date with my husband since we had free babysitting. But things don't always turn out the way we plan, do they?

After returning home from our string of crazy trips - Mass, Lake Powell, and Wyoming - I was so worn out and had absolutely no motivation to do anything. I spent a good portion of the day in my bed and was afraid that I had some postpartum depression returning with a vengeance. It's hard to think back to this time because those feelings feel so foreign now, but at the time, it seemed that I would never feel any different. I guess that is what depression is like. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy - there is nothing so hopeless and frustrating.

In addition to these feelings of depression, Lucy's sleeping was still off and since we had her sleeping in our bedroom (Brandon's mom was sleeping in the spare bed in Lucy's room), lack of sleep was also compounding the problem. So out the window went all my ideas about getting stuff done. When Susan left, the house was a mess, she had done the majority (all) of the cooking, and I started throwing up in the mornings. Susan gave me a scare that maybe I was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness but I knew I wasn't. I was allowing myself to get so stressed out that my body was having a very negative physiological response. And I knew this because it happened those first couple weeks when Lucy was born (and it magically went away as soon as I stopped being so stressed). I would just vomit all this liquid each morning (since my stomach was empty by that time) and then gag and choke on my cereal afterward. Fun, right?

So my poor mother-in-law - she felt pretty helpless. But each day was a little bit better. We went here:and finally bought a crib for Lucy (which I still need to put together).

Then I went to this guy:
and found out I had ten cavities. That's right, people - 10 cavities! I guess pregnancy can make you more susceptible to cavities because of the acid from throwing up and reflux as well as an actual change in the pH of your saliva from the hormones, thrown in with your baby leeching minerals from your bones and teeth if you aren't getting the proper nutrition. Makes sense, I guess. I hadn't had cavities in years so it really sucked and I had just had a cleaning and check-up when I was 6 months pregnant and was fine. Apparently, it doesn't happen to all women but I have talked to several women who said that they had a similar experience. And I frankly wasn't too surprised cause although I ate really well during pregnancy - I hadn't been eating very well after pregnancy and also did have a lot of reflux toward the end of my pregnancy and more vomiting after pregnancy than during. But thank goodness that we have good dental insurance.

So yeah - I'm sure that Brandon's mom didn't have the best time during those few days but she was going to California to visit her other son and grandkids and would be back in Utah with us the next week for a few more days with us. I was determined that by the time she returned, I would be back to my normal self...

Lucy's Baby Blessing (July 26th)

It took a while but we finally did it. We mostly postponed so long because we were waiting for family to get into town. Lucy wore a hand-sewn kimono that my mother made for her when she was out here from Japan. It's more beautiful on the hanger than it was on Lucy as she kept getting tangled up in the long sleeves. But Brandon gave a beautiful blessing to Lucy, which we recorded for her to have when she is older. The thing I remember best is his blessing for her to find joy in her life - a good reminder for mom too.

A lot of the people we care about were there to share in the occasion:
Emily and Jared made the short trek from Pleasant Grove. Although Emily is expecting, she had no desire to use Lucy's kimono for her own baby blessing (although we don't know if it is a girl or boy yet anyway).

Me, Lucy, and Brandon's mom, Susan - or Grammie Sue as she prefers to be called by her grandkids. Lucy is number 5 for her.


Family picture time...

...and lots of kisses from mom. Mostly because I was so thankful that we had survived our trips to Mass, Lake Powell, and Cokeville.

And the main event - Lucy - always happy and thoughtful (like her father).

The group picture we took didn't turn out too well so I don't want to post it but other people there were Brandon's dad, brothers, Damian, Ethan, and Adrian as well as his wife Natalie, and son Taylor. Susan's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Thompson made the trip up from St. George and Aunt Cynthia, Uncle Eric, cousin James and his wife, Stacy and their two little ones also made it up from Springville.

Thanks to everyone who made it (hope I'm not forgetting anyone). This was the last big event of our very busy July.

Cokeville, Wyoming (July 25th)

So you would think that after a trip to Mass (some stress) and then Lake Powell (more stress), we might give ourselves a break. But when family calls, one must heed. So the day after we arrived home from Lake Powell, we headed up to Cokeville, Wyoming - the location of the Dayton Family Pioneer Day celebration/reunion. We mostly went because Brandon often misses this annual tradition because it usually coincides with San Diego Comic-Con - an important can't-miss-work event that he wasn't able to go to this year. But in some ways, we gave ourselves a little bit of a break - instead of heading directly to Cokeville from Lake Powell all in one day (Friday), we stayed overnight in our own beds at home and headed out the next morning (Saturday) for what we thought would be a day trip.

Cokeville was less stressful and bordered on enjoyable at times for me. I like the slower pace of life up there and because there is so much extended family visiting, it's easy to go off on your own to relax without feeling like there is an expectation for you to be anywhere or do anything. We missed the morning parade but made it for the fireside and lunch.Here we are at lunch with Brandon's mom. We were starving and the barbeque was delicious. Brandon's dad is always amazed when he watches me eat as I suppose he's never seen a girl pack it down like I can.

Brandon's dad with his mother, Grandma Dayton. She is 99 years old! And she is also one of the sweetest people ever. You know just from talking to her that she was (and is) a real lady. She has countless grandkids and great-grandkids but you never feel like a number to her, even when you've married into the family. She is equally loving and kind to everyone around her.

Brandon giving mom a break. He's always really good about taking her when he can.

The family has invested in building a cabin on the ranch and it is just about done:
There is some finish work that still needs to be completed like baseboards but overall, it's a really nice place.
Lucy seemed to enjoy it too - hanging out on the floor while the adults chatted away.

After our tour of the cabin and some visiting with family, we were off to Uncle Robert & Aunt Carol's home for dinner. Aunt Carol knows how to entertain a crowd like nobody's business and the food, again was excellent. And with so many baby-loving family members around, Lucy was whisked away for some lovin:
We ended up staying later than planned and figured it would be better to stay overnight in the cabin (even though we had nothing with us at all) than to drive back home (the 3 hours) so late at night. So we left early Sunday morning at the crack of dawn with the cows mooing to make it to church for Lucy's baby blessing that was scheduled (see next post).

Lake Awful (July 21st - 24th)

Most people would assume that going to a place like this:

on one of these:

with one of these:
would equal a totally awesome vacation. But then, I'm not most people.

The above pictures are just taken from the internet on Google image search and are not my own. That is not the house boat we were on or the motor boat that we had but you get the idea - it was something similar. However, Lake Powell (the first picture) is where we went (although I don't remember having a view like that). I didn't take any pictures the entire time. Why? I was absolutely miserable...

I'm not sure how much of my misery could be attributed to the stress of traveling with a 3-month old, some post-partum depression, lack of sleep, the heat, the stress of vacation with in-laws (I love my husband's family but sometimes it is just a reminder that I'm not with my own), or perhaps I just don't like Lake Powell that much. I know that comment might be considered sacrilege to some, but I didn't grow up with the "awesomeness" of Lake Powell and countless family vacations there so it is probably pretty easy for me to take it for granted.

My husband's family is a Powell family. They've been going on family vacations there for a long time. That lake is legendary to them, I think. They have a lot of memories of really good times (talent shows, great water for wakeboarding) and some difficult times (boat breaking down, an automobile accident on the way that could have killed someone). But it seems like even the crappy times somehow contributed to the wonder of Lake Powell for overcoming it But this was only my third time to Powell. I hadn't really established any meaningful memories with the lake.

And I don't do water sports. I tried wakeboarding one of the previous times in Powell but I hurt my back and suffered back pain for a year. It was one of the most frustrating experiences because I consider myself a pretty athletic person and somewhat coordinated (I mean, I played field hockey and did hurdles & pole vault - that should count for something). But I couldn't even stand up - I just kept getting pulled forward on my face. And what was even more frustrating was that the person who was trying to teach me (Brandon's brother, Adrian) just kept saying, "Just let the boat pull you up!" as if I was some kind of idiot for not getting it (or maybe that's what I was thinking). Yeah - not helpful. Every time I heard that motor start up, my heart started pounding, adrenaline started pumping, and the fear trickled in. By the end of that experience, I was exhausted and not only failed (my attempts to even stand) but had hurt myself in the process. I wanted to cry. So maybe that one negative experience would taint all future experiences at Powell.

But I hate that it did. Powell is a constant reminder of that failure and I sometimes think that I will try it again but the fear starts trickling in again and I think about back pain for a year. Then I think that I just will be one of those people that goes to Lake Powell and doesn't ski or wakeboard - I'll be confined to riding on tubes or just the boat, which is still enjoyable. And then I'll take comfort in the fact that watersports can be dangerous and my mom was always worried about my participation anyway. But in the back of my head will always be this nagging of my failure.

However, on this trip, I had absolutely no intention of attempting water skiing or wakeboarding. I was freaking out in my head the moment we got there on account of Lucy. We had not had a good night's sleep the night before. We had just flown in from Mass and our flight was delayed two hours (getting us in past midnight as opposed to 10:00 p.m.). Lucy's sleeping schedule was all messed up from the travel and when you're used to your baby sleeping through the night at 6 weeks (I know - spoiled), it's a hard adjustment to wake up once or twice in the night. So we were exhausted when we arrived. And it was hot but I didn't want to take off her clothes cause then she would have no protection from the blazing sun. And when we finally got on the boat to take us to the houseboat, I was paranoid that she would somehow get dropped off the side of the boat, sinking to the bottom of the lake and drowning. I was even concerned about the bumping of the boat on the water as we sped away - I mean, I wouldn't even put her in a jogging stroller til 4 months.

I thought I might settle down once we got to the house boat but then I realized I forgot her bottle and pump (which she doesn't take the bottle too well anyway). And with the heat, I really couldn't leave her because she was getting so dehydrated and wanted to nurse so frequently, throwing her feeding schedule out the door. And I certainly didn't want to take Lucy with me on the boat, exposing her to the sun & heat, bumping, and greater risk of drowning.

So I was stuck...and I was miserable...and everyone knew it...which made me more miserable. This may just be me projecting my ideas on the situation, but I feel like at Lake Powell, and any family vacation for that matter, there is this expectation that you should have fun. And if you're not, or even worse, are in a bad mood, you're ruining it for everyone else. And although I am positive that everyone was quite sensitive to the fact that I had a baby and was still acclimating myself to the stresses of that, I'm quite sure I was no fun to be around and probably was putting a bit of a damper on the whole overall mood of the place. Cause no one likes a fun hater, and no one knew what to do with me. So I allowed this knowledge to burden me a little more.

I had hoped that nights would be a respite - it was cooler and I could just sleep. But with 15 people all sleeping in the same space, I was hyper-sensitive to any noise that Lucy made in her sleep. So I didn't sleep so well as she would cry out (which she normally does at home but then falls back asleep) and I would immediately nurse her to quell the sound. So I was still exhausted. And although I had recently been finding some solace in books at home, I couldn't seem to concentrate on that at Powell either - my mind was just so stressed out.

That trip couldn't have ended soon enough for me. But eventually it did, with the last night there being the worst as there was some crazy windstorm that drove us inside to sweltering heat and even less sleep.

So I said that I didn't take any pictures of this trip, but my mother-in-law and brother-in-law did, which I snagged from facebook. So here are a few to get a picture of how crazy I must be:Here is me and Lucy on the boat on the way to the houseboat. Little did I know of the misery that awaited me. I thought that once we got to the houseboat, my mind would settle down, but it didn't...Here is Lucy who was probably warmer than comfortable, but relatively happy. This trip did more damage to mom worrying about her than it actually did to her.

And here is what I missed out on. I forget how beautiful Lake Powell is - I wasn't paying any attention in my neurotic state:
Brandon's brother, Damian - much more relaxed than I was...

Not sure who this is but he/she was definitely having more fun than I was...

But I missed this the most - beautiful hikes around the surrounding canyons of the lake - one of my favorite things to do. Maybe next year... but definitely without a baby.

I was somewhat comforted when I returned home that not all people are Lake Powell people (Lindsey) and that I was really brave to bring my baby. So I stopped beating myself up about this trip. I may not have been at my best, but I'll have lots more chances to show my husband's family that I can be crazy in a good, fun way. But maybe that will be in a rented beach house in California - then we could have all the grandkids we wanted there and another brother too...