It's been quite a transition for us with Lucy. I expected that things would be different but I didn't really anticipate how it would all exactly change. I always thought that I didn't like babies and just wanted them to quickly grow up, but I have found that I am really enjoying Grey and how simple he is. Just feed him, burp him, put him to sleep, and change his diapers and this guy is the smiley-est boy. He smiles at everyone. I think that I remember Lucy being like that as baby but there were so many other things I was stressed out with her as a new mother, I don't think I was able to enjoy it as much.
Lucy continues to be my challenge, maybe because the experiences I am going through with her are brand new and I'm not sure what to expect. I always thought that it would get easier as the kids got older and would laugh when other parents said it got harder. But they were right in a way. It's easier that I don't have to change her diapers or feed her but her needs are much more complex and at this time, she needs an incredible amount of both independence and attention.
Initially, my first instincts on dealing with Lucy when she acted up once her brother was born was to be really tough with her because she needs to learn to deal with it - our world does not revolve around her anymore and my attention is now shared. So sometimes, I just completely ignored her when she was acting up. But then I started to try to put myself in her shoes and be really compassionate and give her as much attention as I could. When I nursed Grey, instead of wasting time on the laptop like I usually did, I would read a book to Lucy. I would try to be super affectionate with Lucy as well and just really try to be patient with her. That has been my greatest challenge since Grey has been born, learning how to be more patient. When I get upset and start yelling and screaming or even just use an irritated voice with Lucy, it makes the situation worse.
So the challenge for me continues. I'm waiting for it to get better with her. But learning to be more patient myself. Some days are good and some are more difficult but at least my two babies love each other (so far).
4 comments:
Thanks for updating your blog in the middle of paying attention to Lucy. I am so proud that you are trying very hard to pay more attention to Lucy in calm manner. I've never learned how to handle kids. You are smart to figured out to put yourself in her shoes and be really compassionate. It will make you easy to maneuver her, but also she become emotionally stabled and it will be preventable for her to be a tough teenager, I think/hope.
I think you are moving in the right direction, Annie. What a great idea to read to Lucy while nursing Grey.
Just remember that everything is a phase! I'm sure with some TLC and time, Lucy will grow out of this challenging stage. It's hard to remember that our girls have only been on this earth for 3 or 4 years, and they really don't have much experience. Patience is something I am constantly working on, too.
Amen about striving for more patience. I imagine that this will be a life-long struggle for me.
You are a great mama, Annie. Your kids are so lucky to have you.
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